Wednesday, February 10, 2021

Parent Pointer: The Value of Guiding, Not Telling

It is easy for parents and guardians to inadvertently tell children the answers. Over time, telling your children the answer when they’re stuck can contribute to learned helplessness. Instead, use a guided approach when your child gets stuck on an assignment or task.


  • When your child is stuck, ask what they know and don’t know. Their incorrect answer might have a lot of correct inside of it.

  • Ask questions to spark their thinking. Ask them what they know about the problem and what they are trying to solve. These questions can be in the form of the 5 Ws: Who? What? When? Where? Why?

  • Prompt thinking by asking about background knowledge. Prompts are reminders of skills needed to complete the task. A writing assignment, for example, may have a checklist or rubric that the teacher has used before. It may be enough to say “Let’s look at the rubric to see what you might be missing.”

  • Use cues to shift attention. You might suggest, “Can you reread that second paragraph? I think you’ll find your answer there.” Or ask them to look back at a diagram or a glossary in their textbook.

  • If they still don’t know, explain your thinking as you provide them with the correct answer. If you don’t know the answer yourself, don’t be afraid to say so. Instead, ask them what they might do the next time they talk with the teacher.


The mission of the Parkway School District is to ensure all students are capable, curious, caring, and confident learners who understand and respond to the challenges of an ever-changing world. Even though the information and resources change over time, we can teach our children to be lifelong learners.